Fair Weather Friends

The need does not define the call, the call defines the need.

A pithy little saying I once read that makes more and more sense as the years roll along, because nothing seems to kindle the fires of burnout faster than a call that springs more from observed need than it does from focused intention to meet Christ's interests in the Church and the world.

One of the spiritual formation practices I find most appealing is the imaginative reading of scripture. Such a reading refreshes passages that I've read so many times I find my attentiveness waning. I have gleaned all I can from informational reading--I master the text--and am ready to engage with formational reading--the text masters me. (Thank you, Alice Fryling for that easy definition of comparative scripture study models. More on her materials in the link below.)

Allowing your imaginations to touch your Gospel reading  is nothing more mystical than seeing yourself in the story. Reading the story as a participant, you determine who you are in the scenario, and notice how the environment affects your senses, who interacts with you and how you respond to the progress of the plot. In essence, you engage the passage at a personal level.

Recently, I felt God invite me to walk the full range of discipleship, serving Christ in this manner. Here is a review of my experience.

And he told his disciples to have a boat ready for him because of the crowd, lest they should crush him; for he had healed many, so that all who had diseases pressed upon him to touch him.

--Mark 3:9-10 RSV
 

 I feel like the body guard of a rock star when he gives the urgent command--have a boat ready. As the other disciples and I hurry to secure a boat--his escape route from the dangerously pressing fans--we look at each other and chuckle nervously, we shake our heads in amazement at what life has brought us so quickly. Who would have guessed we would be the ones to do this sort of thing??

 

And he said to them, "Come away by yourselves to a lonely place, and rest a while." For many were coming and going, and they had no leisure even to eat.

And they went away in the boat to a lonely place by themselves.

Now many saw them going, and knew them, and they ran there on foot from all the towns, and got there ahead of them.

As he went ashore he saw a great throng, and he had compassion on them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd; and he began to teach them many things.

--Mark 6:31-34
 

The adrenaline rush of the wild days of miracles and healings, the demands of the ever-swarming mass of humanity--these are taking their toll. We have no time for our own most basic needs. Now when we disciples smile at each other, it is a weary smile of compassion sprouting from the soil of our communal exhaustion. He sees our weariness and invites us to rest, but the mobs JUST WON'T QUIT! And neither will he. He's like a machine. How does he do it??

 

...and this is the will of him who sent me, that I should lose nothing of all that he has given me, but raise it up at the last day.

He who eats my flesh and drinks my blood abides in me, and I in him.

Many of his disciples, when they heard it, said, "This is a hard saying; who can listen to it?"

After this many of his disciples drew back and no longer went about with him.

Jesus said to the twelve, "Do you also wish to go away?"

--John 6:39, 56, 60, 66-67

 

Enough with the parables already! The healings and miracles bring people in droves; but then he starts talking.

At first, the stories scratch a nagging itch in their hearts. Yes! This is so true, they cry.
But later, the stories change. The people are horrified. Can't he see they're not ready for the out-of-this-world weirdness? The followers are leaving, which is a relief in a way, but also a little frightening because they're leaving offended.  Just what have we signed up for here? Why don't these people get it? We get it. It rings true but only because he explains it to us. Why won't he explain it to them? He's maddening. We aren't exactly rocket-scientists, but we get it because he explains himself. Why won't he do that for them??

Then he asks us the question we've all been asking ourselves. We look at each other, and we know the same question haunted us days before he asked it aloud. It's in our eyes when we glance at each other. Are we leaving, too?

What did we sign up for?

 

Simon Peter answered him, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life;

and we have believed, and have come to know, that you are the Holy One of God."

--John 6:68-69

 

One by one, our eyes changes. First, Peter's shifted. That wide stare of haunted horror narrowed into a fierce determination. One by one, the rest of us transfigured. We saw each other around this circle as each one made the transition. This marked our knowing each other. Really knew each other. This moment Peter became the one who would define the place where the church would come to life. "You have the words of eternal life." The words. Will  we really let the words that make us uncomfortable drive us away? It's these words that matter, after all. These words measure us.

 

Simon Peter replied, "You are the Christ, the Son of the living God."

And I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the powers of death shall not prevail against it.

--Matthew 16:16, 18

These were the headwaters of the church. Not the day he called us winsomely. Not even the days of miracles and healings, raising of the dead or mountaintop sermons. These all mattered, but the defining spark was in words. Words of revelation. No-matter-what words. Nothing-changes-who-You-are words.  This is when death first lost its sting...and not just for a generation, but for all time. When you asked and we answered that we would not go away.

What do I glean from this way of reading scripture?
I realize that it  is good to occasionally pause and contemplate the season that my serving is experiencing. I'd like to think all our service is like that first flush of thrill and energy that the disciples knew; but if I am honest I know that easy times and hard times will continue throughout all aspects of my life, and to deny the back-and-forth flow is to put myself at risk of either burnout or self-idolization. Neither was God's purpose in creating His church. His light shines in me the brightest, his revelation speech over me is the boldest when I can--in any season--answer like Peter when Christ questions me: "Do you also wish to go away?"


Bonus link: If you're refreshed by this way of reflecting on scripture, you might like joining a spiritual accompaniment small group that makes a practice of reviewing scripture together this way. Here is a good resource for learning more about such groups.